We asked Helen – she of the lovely smile and infinite supply of shortbread – to judge the Caption Competition.
She’s chosen Ben & James’s caption of “Look man, I can take the massive head, but I aint fallin for no banana in the tailpipe.” Congratulations Ben & James you win one of…
Kerry Katona’s autobiography…
A Jeremy Beadle Video…
Some Gentlemen’s slippers…
Paul Burrell’s Entertaining with Style.
As you can tell, all make excellent gifts. So Christmas has come a week early for Ben and James. What takes your fancy, gentlemen?
Vis-a-vis the Jeremy Beadle video cover. We understand that Jeremy had a stunted growth in his right hand, thus it is hidden under the beautiful salmon jacket with primrose trim. However, is the green, alien hand portrayed on the cover an indirect (or rather, blatent) pisstake?
Such a dilemma. A book by a pisstank, the video reminds us of too much bad poker (incredibly bad hand), a book by someone who robbed from the royal family or some lovely warm slippers for christmas… slippers please.
Do we collect in person a la lottery winner photo-op style or are you trusting her majesty’s postmen?
We can do photo op if you want. Just don’t turn up pissed. Otherwise we can pop it in the post (no guarantees it’ll get to you before christmas though). And talking of Christmas, it seems a little unfair that you’ll have to share the slippers – we don’t want fights breaking out. So in the spirit of it all, feel free to pick a second prize…
Well, Ben is having a few people over on Christmas Day so we’ll have to plump for the ‘Royal Robber’s’ book please. How you fixed monday for us to bob in? Maybe we could have a mulled wine or two?
Man… I wanted that book. Ben’s guests are in for a treat. Monday should be fine. Will email you details.
I’ll have you know that Jeremy Beadle VHS was very hard to track down.
And the lady in Oxfam assured me that ‘cook from frozen Katona was a “lovely read for Christmas”. Quite.