Introducing The Love Trainer. It’s the Sex Enhancer of the Future.
CAUTION: contains scenes of incredibly happy and beautiful models ‘unlocking their inner stamina’.
I wonder if you can change the voice that talks to you, like you can on sat-nav? You could have Lorraine Kelly, that Kirsty girl off the housing programme or perhaps we can interest you in Super-Nanny’s Jo Frost? Of course, for the ladies there’s Sir Sean, Daniel Radcliffe or even Jonathan Agnew.
Lorraine Kelly, eh? Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. Maybe I’ll just Google “Lorraine Kelly” to remind myself what she looks like…
I think everyone should remind themselves what Lorraine Kelly looks like at least once a day.
I’m giving up my job, I’ll never write a line as good as “following the beat, make love much harder”.