We generally don’t do hate posts on this blog. Hating is neither big nor clever, so I’m going to try and put some positive spin on this advert that I saw in the Metro this morning. I have never attempted to do positive spin before, so the chances are it will not work. Please accept my apologies in advance.
Now a quick look at The Drum website will reveal more than a fair share of bitter comments and anonymous remarks regarding the creative talent of various regional agencies and individuals, and there’s always the ongoing chip-on-our-shoulders about London vs. the regions. So I’d like to kick off this rainy monday morning with this happy thought:
“At least you didn’t have to sit on a sweaty tube* this morning, come into work and do this piece of arse.”
*This may not be factually correct, the person(s) responsible may well have walked into work, or used some form of scooter.
Why have Visa wasted their money making an advert about the Olympic games three years before the Olympic Games? (“Visa – the faster way to pay at London 2012″) I know they’re testing the transport links today, and it’s exactly three years today or something that the games will begin, but it’s three years away. THREE YEARS, not three days. There’s a strong possiblity that one, if not all of us will be dead in three years’ time, depending on who you listen to. My life isn’t going to flow any f**king better if I’m dead, will it? Couldn’t you have done something related to the Ashes? Here – I’ll do it for you:
HEADLINE: “VISA – the faster way to pay at the Ashes 2009.”
IMAGE: A batsman is running his bat into a cricket crease, but instead of holding a bat, he’s holding a giant Visa card.
Oooooo, wait. Let’s change the headline to “OWZAT for a faster way to pay at the Ashes 2009.” Yeeeeeeeeeessss…
(Please read the next post – above – for a more positive reflection of the regions’ creativity. Although the chances are you’ve either already read it, or I haven’t written it yet. And sorry for swearing. Swearing is also neither big nor clever. But it is funny.)
You want positive spin? Try this: Visa’s “flow” technology works via a specially encrypted chip that can “seen” by a scanner. The scanners they tell you about in their advertising are the scanners used in tills in friendly supermarkets, trendy restuarants and posh clothes shops. What they don’t tell you is that whenever your card is “seen” YOU are also seen. So using your card throughout the course of a day means you unwittingly generate a real-time map of your exact movements/location. This is really very frightening and civil liberty groups are already cacking themselves about how this technology/information will be used once it’s properly rolled out. However, on the plus side it means we’ll all be able to spot terrorists when they buy their fags outside the stadium. Now we’ve only got three years to build a profile of your movements, so come on bombers, get spending!!
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