LOVE. stories
I'm not afraid to use it. Only a real gentleman would
@ehupLOVEeat a Greggs pasty straight from the oven. Never the less, my mother always told me that
@curly_andyyou'll never get to heaven if you dance like that. But then suddenly, from deep in the undergrowth
@ruthersisha Gorilla jumped out with a stunned look on his face. He couldn't believe his eyes
@jamiemarkwhitehad turned as green as a thousand lagoons and the hairs on his back were
@twolefteyesstanding to attention. He himself, was standing in the middle of nowhere. A nowhere that felt like
@lonelyheartadsthe end of civilisation as we know it. But the fox had a cunning plan. "Why don't we
@scanzinefashion a purse out of garden twine? We can store our pickled eggs there and
@hannahmaccamoofeed them to that gorilla. But this only angered the gorilla who proceeded to
@nickjhansondance gayly with a curious look in his eye to the future of anger. As he danced, the land folded to reveal
@DigitalSignalsa giant chicken wielding a garden rake. And it did not look happy! The gorilla had alektorophobia, an extreme fear of chickens.
@jamiemarkwhiteBut he was in the mood for an omelette, so he made a dive for the chicken's nest.
@hollyjobeeIn the melee, the dust that was scattered everywhere was subsequently cleaned away by all the feathers leaving a polished
@ChrisJeffreys_ As the gorilla launched himself through the air towards the inviting nest, a wave of insanity hit him.
@Shabello23I suppose you want to know how the Gorilla made the Omlette now don't you? Ok, the recipe goes something like this...
@pseudocidalblogtake six raven snouts and
@twolefteyesa couple of magic lawns
@richhigginsand 100g of rainbow and
@twolefteyesbake for three lightyears. There you have it, a time-bending omelette fit for any gorilla.
@jamiemarkwhiteBut the gorilla caught pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and
@christhelwellate Chris. He tasted like a ruulr!
@Steve_WorsleyIt then did a dance too...
@Steve_WorsleyA dance like no one had ever seen before. Everyone felt compelled to get up and shake their booties like there was no tomorrow
@Tatters007 or yesterday. The delicious yet slightly
@tmoitiewafer. He then said "We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I...
@Steve_Worsley" before being interupted by dots, "Aaaargh he
@christhelwellbrown for first course, white for pudding
@twolefteyesBuffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
@jaikdeanin the swimming pool over by the ranch. Love.stories was hijacked by a band of
@tmoitierabid hamsters.
@jamiemarkwhiteThe hamsters rose and created a cacophony of chattering noise that reminded the gathered rabble of
@DigitalSignalsman eating cheaters.
@jamiemarkwhiteUnfortunately the rabble of cheating cheetahs were allergic to hamsters & came out in spots. Like their leopard friend Bernard.
@Steve_WorsleyFollowing this, the cheating cheetahs would be forever known as cheepards, and the hamsters, well they were never heard from again.
@dangreenwoodBy day, Bernard was a
@twolefteyes snail and spent his days sabotaging plots by his evil identical twin Bernadette. His favourite
@JenBajHello Love.
@up_and_adamBack on Earth it's all you'll read about. All the evidence destroyed. Maps & legends mark the firewalls. We is lst abnded svrs
@up_and_adamLet's go back to the rock.
Go back to the rock
and see it at fourforty.
Another danger zone
@up_and_adamfor both snails and cheetahs alike. With that the sun rose on another
@DigitalSignals http://t.co/7okpEtSs we're keeping an eye on D, he can run but he cannot hide
@superstrumps lovely day in the jungle. But for how long. A mysterious character strolled into town with a suspicious gait and a
@ruthersishhuge shiny brass toe on his left foot that made the noise of
@ChrisJeffreys_an elephant stamping on a trombone.
@jamiemarkwhite just sent an email, about a design position, check out my website
www.nealchilds.com...thanks 
@Neal_Childs89 This mysterious stranger owed his suspicious gait to all his long distance running, what exactly is he running from said all the
@superstrumps http://t.co/pNz3lPyS This mysterious character owed his suspicious gait to his long distance running, what's he running from said
@superstrumps http://t.co/dL29KwjH all the women/animals he'd stared at on late night dating sites all alone on the moors/in the jungle but
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH he thought he'd got away with it but little did he know he was being watched 24 hours a day on a live webcam
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH yes indeed a lovely day in the jungle/office until the outside world and his sordid past caught up with him
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH with a public proclamation of guilt and betrayal never forgotten or forgiven on the other side of the jungle
@solsepp But such is life. He shook his head picked up a trombone and
@theadrianfloresplayed the most beautiful melody anyone had ever heard. A tear ran down his cheek and into a puddle, the ripples in the puddle
@ruthersish started to moonwalk his way home when suddenly
@SteveLownes http://t.co/dL29KwjH there she was before him, the ghost from his past in a long green velvet coat, ash blonde hair whipping her
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH face in that cruel Yorkshire gale, he fell to his knees and begged forgiveness for his cruel rejection just
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH when she needed him most but she was here for revenge, she took his tear stained face and kissed him hard on
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH anaphylactic shock, she'd laced her tongue with peanut oil, well aware that he had a chronic nut allergy oh
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH ..my..god..he gasped as he writhed on the ground, she stood over him, screwed her heel into his face as he
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH struggled for breath, but showed him no mercy as never did for her, she laughed a bitter laugh as she walked
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH away into the sunset, 'If I hadn't seen you shuffling past that live webcam I'd never have got involved in
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH this story but the smug complacency of offering a live screen to the world and inviting unwelcome visitors was
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH just too tempting an opportunity to miss, the poor (copy)writer lay exhausted in his own vomit and shit when
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH he suddenly remembered his epidren, frantically he searched his pockets until a familiar voice whispered in
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH his ear 'you looking for this..?' the distorted shape of his epidren was in her hand, blurring in and out of
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH focus as he started to lose consciousness, she dangled it in front of his face, just out of reach as he gasped
@solsepp http://t.co/dL29KwjH his last breath of remorse, the pathos was...well, frankly pathetic, she was enjoying herself enormously when
@solsepp she realised the live camera was no longer on..is this not the kind of story they wanted..they invited all to take part after all..
@solsepp so shall we leave the poor (copy)writer helplessly lying here in his own bodily fluids or does he have any friends who'll save him
@solsepp from himself! Never fear, because no sooner was he on the brink of death than a friendly face offered him salvation in the form of.
@eeegeeH______|\______\o/____ Shark Attack!! (people love shark attacks) HELP ME he cried as
@SteveLownes felt the metallic shock of jaws cutting right through his fibula..no more mountain running for me he screamed inwardly as he fought
@solsepp for his life and at the same time, seriously considered if it was a life worth saving, an existential moment took him over as he
@solsepp reflected on his miserable little existence all alone on the moors with only his hourglass and macbook for company..all those crap
@solsepp Ad campaigns for the bastards of this world, all those spent words and wasted hours in Waterstones and the Cornerhouse that came to
@solsepp nothing, what did he ever do with those dubious talents but write trite lists of meaningless words for sport labels, the shark
@solsepp could have his leg as penance for all the wrongs he'd wrought on the world, miraculously though the shark attack seemed to have
@solsepp cured his anaphylactic shock, or maybe it was all in his pathologically screwed up head after all, she'd set these sharks on him
@solseppand they all lived happily ever after, until
@twolefteyes a sorcerer cast an evil spell to make the world talk in rhyme, all the time
@brokenpier1 and then it happened, he took it out of his pants and waved it about like Lukes lightsaber. Then Chewie spoke those immortal words,
@SeanBoothyIf you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button
@wahlondonThat's a hefty pile of rubbish you've got there. I hope you're going to recycle that!
@carlhalfordsaid a strange voice coming from above the elevator ceiling. Were they referring to Chewie? "Who's there?!"
@jamiemarkwhiteAnd out of the mist appeared Dale Winton & Tom Jones, united by their luminous leather skin and love for tap dancing
@ThunderBirdWord but what of the sad senior copywriter still lying prostrate, blinking through the mist of lost time and regret at these orange men
@solsepp who only serve to mock him further, he developed the brand for these chancers after all, it was his very own clever words, albeit
@solsepp shamelessly 'appropriated' from all the books he leafed through at Waterstones (but never bought) in the 'Outdoor/Travel' section
@solsepp in his lunch hours..the orangemen had come back to haunt and taunt him for his blatant plagiarism palmed off as 'original thinking'
@solsepp and for the audacity in referring to himself as 'a Creative'..'we're all Creative darling' crooned Tom Jones, as Dale Winton
@solsepp offered the poor burnt out old copywriter a hand-up while proffering a hankie to wipe himself down of all the rancid bodily fluids
@solsepp accrued on his person and supported his weight as he hobbled in agony on his one remaining leg spared by the shark attack earlier
@solsepp this led screen is bright, nice and comfortable!
@TheRocketPanda It was a beautiful studio, but the smell was so dreadful at times they had to invest in a giant Magic Tree.
@sarah_nbRT @wahlondon: If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button
@livingarchitectRT @wahlondon: If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button
@mark_gunn@ehupLOVE message from mark sugden, andy smith do some work!
@john_is_gingerhttp://t.co/ECEtCCJW Im seeing if this comes up on the screen (go to bottom of their site
@MAsalforduni -it does.... love LOVE
@MAsalforduniHappy Halloween everyone at Love!
@carlhalford
@alexbee_